Inspired by the holy rhetoric from Joelle’s vacation bible school, “Take the Plunge with Jesus”, I have finally dedicated my life to raising my children.  I have worked part-time since Joelle was born and I am so glad that I did.  It enabled us to move and enjoy lots of other things that we couldn’t have otherwise.  I always knew that once we had two children, working would become even more difficult.  I had no idea that it would be quite so difficult. 

I’m tired.  Very tired.  I have worked for about 6 weeks now, almost always at night after the girls go to bed.  “Working” from 6 am to 7:30 pm with both girls and then working from 8 to 10 is absolutely exhausting.  I know people do it, but, wow, what kind of life is that?  True, I do have my mom’s help.  Without it, I wouldn’t be sane.  However, she gets tired, too, and I hate having to rely on her all the time.  She’s worked hard her entire life and should get to enjoy lazing around and most certainly her water aerobics whenever she wants.  Most importantly, I want her to come over when she wants to enjoy her grandbabies – not because her daughter has to work. 

I kept telling myself that things would get better once summer was over and Joelle was back in school, but I realized that it wouldn’t really.  Joelle will be in school 5 hours on 4 days, but of those 5 hours, I have to work out, run errands and keep the house tidy.  Oh, and play with my baby.  When exactly will work fit in?  I just didn’t see substantial time pockets opening up.  When I realized that I wasn’t sleeping at night because of the stress, I decided enough was enough.  I hung on for so long because it was a great gig – working exclusively from home with pretty good pay.  Plus, if I stop, I can’t really rely on getting to do it again in the future… and I have absolutely no idea what I may decide to do once my kids are in school.  I do know that a huge weight was lifted from chest today.  I have only until the end of August to continue this juggle.  The future and what I do with it can’t dictate what I do now, right? 

I almost forgot – the biggest irony of it all?   About 15 minutes after I e-mailed my boss to tell him I was hanging the hat, another old co-worker (who is now at a new company) IM’d me to ask if I’d consider working for his company. 

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